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In traditional Maori culture there was no distinction between self and place—you were where you were born and lived, and places were inscribed with history, myth and memory. Adopted and brought up Pakeha (New Zealand European), I discovered at the age of 30 I am Ngāi Tahu. On a creative practice journey to explore adoption longings I took my camera to Riverton/Aparima, the birthplace of my Ngāi Tahu tūpuna (ancestors), seeking connection. Disappointed at this bland town, I felt disconnected, nothing. However, with the lens to my eye, a medium, I achieved a peculiar and intense connection in two of the locations I filmed. In a stand of ancient macrocarpa trees and in a section of bush I unexpectedly felt completely in place, as if I belonged. I argue that in these moments I experienced something akin to Maori experiences of place.
Keywords: ; adoption root journey ; Aotearoa/New Zealand ; autoethnography ; belonging and connection ; closed stranger adoption ; extra-temporal moments ; Māori experiences of place ; New Zealand birds ; Ngāi Tahu ; self in connection ; the lens
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https://doi.org/10.1386/9781789387438_8 Published content will be available immediately after check-out or when it is released in case of a pre-order. Please make sure to be logged in to see all available purchase options.